


Advice

by methylene (Glommus)



Series: The Justice League Have a Great Time (Mostly) [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, guess what kings it's more shitposting in the form of fanfiction!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27636773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glommus/pseuds/methylene
Summary: “Hal,” Clark declared as he appeared out of fucking nowhere in full Superman getup and scared the shit out of Hal Jordan in his own damn apartment, “Are you busy?”
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Series: The Justice League Have a Great Time (Mostly) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/739116
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Advice

**Author's Note:**

> do I know it's been three years since I posted the last work in this series? yes. bringin' it back, kings. it’s your favorite justice league fic series written by me, the subpar writer that relies too much on dialogue. not my characters, everything belongs to d/c comics. Enjoy!

“Hal,” Clark declared as he appeared out of fucking nowhere in full Superman getup and scared the shit out of Hal Jordan in _his own damn apartment_ , “Are you busy?”

Hal brushed himself off as he rose to his feet, since he’d literally fallen off of his couch. “I guess I’m not now, considering Superman just showed up in my living room.” It’s also not like he was busy before. He’s been bingeing _Queer Eye_ for the past couple of hours and was considering of painting his nails and maybe doing a face mask since he has absolutely no energy to do anything else, which, unfortunately, definitely doesn’t count as being busy in Clark’s book (Hal had just gotten back to Coast City after a mission with Corps across the galaxy, sue him for taking a self-care day).

“Glad to hear it,” Clark replied absently before plopping onto the couch. “I need your help.”

Hal groaned. “Supes. I just got back from a mission, like, two hours ago. Can it wait? Please?” He’d _just_ put on his Flash pajamas that Oliver had gotten for him from Central City (because Oliver is dick who is unfortunately very perceptive).

Clark leveled him with an intense, heroic Superman gaze. “Justice waits for no man, Hal Jordan.”

Hal blinked and opened his mouth to reply, but then Clark’s face cracked into a smile. “I’m just messing with you, buddy. No, I was actually just wondering if you’d give me some advice.”

Hall collapsed onto the couch next to Clark and reached over him to grab the remote so he could pause his show. “You think you’re funny but you’re actually not. I’m way too tired for this shit.”

Clark pouted.

Hal groaned again. “Okay dude, I’ll bite. What kind of advice could you possibly have decided would be wise to come to me for before literally anyone else?”

Clark nudged his arm. “Give yourself more credit. I know Bruce can be an asshole sometimes but the rest of us know you’re super smart and shit, okay?”

Hal laughed.

“I’m serious. Plus you’re the only one in the League that’s had a semi-functional relationship recently. And that’s kinda what I need advice about.”

Hal pulled a face. “I don’t know that I’d call me and Carol ‘functional.’ Also Arthur and Mera are sickeningly sweet and devoted to each other, so...” It took about five more seconds for Hal to finish processing Clark’s words before his eyes widened. “Wait, _relationship advice_? Since when do you get into relationships?”

Clark had the audacity to look affronted. “I date people sometimes. I dated Lois.”

Hal snorted. “Lois is into chicks, Clark. She went on a date with you to be nice because she’s your friend and felt bad for you.”

Clark shrugged. “You’re not wrong. But still.”

“I thought you were still hung up on the Bat? Decided to give up, have you?”

“Opposite,” Clark said with a sigh. “He invited me in after the whole bullshit thing with the Daily Planet last week, which was a step in the right direction because when he’s tired he usually just says ‘get off my roof and out of my city, Superman’ so I went in but we just drank some wine and he touched my hand a couple of times and then he insisted on calling me a car back to Metropolis because ‘don’t drink and drive, Clark’ even though I was flying and not driving but he still made me go in the car even though it took like two hours. So it was kinda weird and different from when we normally hang out and I haven’t seen him since then and we have a League meeting tomorrow and I don’t know what to say to him because maybe he’s into me too? I don’t know anymore.”

“Take a breath, Supes,” Hal replied. “I think I see what your problem is. Good news--I know how to fix it.”

“You do?” Clark asked, eyes filled with hope.

“Yep. Time to perform the most advanced courting technique that can ever be used: stop being a chickenshit and ask him out.”

Clark covered his eyes with his hands mournfully. “ _No_ , Hal. You don’t understand at all.”

Hal crossed his arms. “Uh huh. Enlighten me, what don’t I understand?”

“I can’t just ask him out. He’s Batman!”

“He’s also Bruce Wayne, resident dork with a zillion children who secretly loves _Lord of the Rings_. He’s also one of your best friends and you’ve known each other for years. Honestly, Supes? I really think you can “just ask him out.””

Clark moved a single finger to partially uncover his left eye. “I don’t think I can though,” he mumbled.

Hal slapped his shoulder. “That’s the only way you’re gonna get your man, dude.”

“You’re one to talk. I saw those pajamas,” Clark said, his left eye staring Hal down pointedly.

Hal’s cheeks reddened. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Clark covered both of his eyes again with an extremely dramatic groan.

Hal coughed uncomfortably and reached for the remote to unpause his Netflix show while Clark wallowed in his misery. “Good talk. Wanna stick around and watch _Queer Eye_? This episode just started right before you crashed through my balcony.”

“I guess if anything can cheer me up, it’s Jonathan Van Ness doing his thing.” Clark sighed, straightening up. “Do you have any nail polish?”

“Yeah, duh.”


End file.
